Regina's Exceptions
by oh the cleverness of you
Summary: Regina talks about the 3 times in her life she has made an exception... One shot! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW. Even a couple words makes all the work done in a story suddenly worth it!


_When I was younger__  
__I saw my daddy cry__  
__And curse at the wind__  
__He broke his own heart__  
__And I watched__  
__As he tried to reassemble it__  
__And my momma swore that__  
__She would never let herself forget__  
__And that was the day that I promised__  
__I'd never sing of love__  
__If it does not exist_

_But darlin'_

_You are the only exception!_

Some people will tell you that the first time that they kiss their true love, its like firework, or explosions, or some other firing of synapsis that makes them fell all tingly and warm inside. I, was not one of those people.

I had decided from a young age, I was going to be independent, that I would prefer to spend a life time alone. I had watched my parents love dissolve, to the point that I could barely remember a time that they had loved each other. If I think hard enough, I can think back to a time long ago, when my parents were still in love. When I would watch them talking to each other, and looking at each other as though they were the only ones in existence. I couldn't tell you what caused the change between them or when, but somewhere along the ways they lost that love, and all that was left was animosity and resentment.

I never knew which parent I was supposed to comfort, my father had always coddled me and shown me affection through words of praise and love, but my mother had always looked out for my wellbeing, teaching me to be the strong woman that I am today. Instead, I opted to not comfort either of them, choosing to lurk in doorways as I watched their hearts break, and making the decision right then and there that I would not be putting myself in that position. Not ever. Which bring us back to that kiss.

I had seen Daniel many times, I had watched him ride the horses, and always found him to be quite friendly, and easy to talk to whenever I was in the stables grooming, or just trying to escape my parents. I will always remember how kind his eyes were, soft and knowing, gazing into me. Though my favourite part about him, was his laugh. It wasn't a deep, and booming boisterous kind of laugh, but rather a soft chuckle, the sound of it inviting and fun. It had become a game of mine to get him to laugh, at least once during each of our conversations, which resorted to me saying all kinds of things that I would normally not say. Things that I would promptly be reprimanded for, if my mother ever found out. But Daniel always laughed, never judging that my jokes were unladylike, and somewhere along the lines Daniel became my best friend.

I wanted to talk to him all day, every day. Spending more and more of my time at the stables, just so I could see him, helping him out with his duties so he would have more time to sit and chat with me, about everything and nothing. It was during one of these chats that he kissed me. I had made him laugh with something I said, and I looked over at him so I could fully appreciate his laughter, when his eyes met mine he leaned forward, and kissed me. I was so stunned I didn't even react. I didn't want this. Couldn't we just be friends? Had I not told him about my desire to remain single, so as to not suffer the same fate as my parents? How dare he betray my trust like this. I pushed him off of me as hard as I could, and I could see in his soft eyes that he knew, he understood why I was angry. I waited, standing in silence, starring at him, waiting for some kind of explanation. Except he didn't offer one, he didn't even apologize. He just shrugged his shoulders, and said he had been waiting to do that for a long time, that if I didn't want him he understood, he would always be my friend, but if I wanted more, if I wanted someone who would love me always, who would never fall away from my heart like my parents had, then he would be waiting. And then he walked away.

Furious.

That's the only word I could use to describe how I felt. He had a lot of nerve that Daniel. I didn't go back to the stables for weeks. Begging my father, to go and get my horse for me so that I could ride. I didn't want to see Daniel, as far as I was concerned I would have been okay never seeing him again. But I suppose the greatest lies one tells, is to themselves. Because the truth is, he was all I could think about.

I missed everything about him. His laugh, his eyes, his voice, the chats we had. The way he would gently rub my back, whenever I told him something that had me feeling sad. The way he would wrap his arm around my shoulder and pull me in, when I told him something that had excited me, and the way that he got so excited with me. As the weeks without him slowly passed, I realized that he and I had been dancing this dance long before he kissed me, I was just too stubborn and scared to notice. As all of these realizations fell upon me, I knew that I wanted to love him, and trust his word. I wanted to believe that it would be, he and I forever, that he would not fall away as my parents had.

I ran to the stables as fast as my legs would carry me, throwing open the doors calling out his name, my chest heaving as my lungs struggled to catch up. For one terrifying second, when he did not appear, I thought he had left. I thought that he was never coming back, that he had chosen to not wait for me anymore.

But then he stepped out of a stall.

He looked at me, my name a question on his lips, and thats when I knew, I didn't just _want_ to love him, I _did_ love him. I didn't just _want_ to believe in him, I _did _believe in him. This man standing in front of me, he was my future, my life, my soul. Daniel was my true love.

Some people say the first kiss with their true loves is something magical, but I would have to disagree, its the second kiss that really matters...

_Maybe I know, somewhere  
Deep in my soul  
That love never lasts  
And we've got to find other ways  
To make it alone  
Or keep a straight face  
And I've always lived like this  
Keeping a comfortable, distance  
__And up until now  
I had sworn to myself that I'm content  
With loneliness  
Because none of it was ever worth the risk, well  
You are the only exception_

One year.

Thats how long I lived within the confines of love and hope.

One year.

Then my entire life changed. Slowly at first. I tried to fight against the anger, the loneliness, the hate. Tried hard to remain true to me, true to the person that he loved. But I was weak, or love is weak depending on whom you ask, and I was unable to hold onto that part of me.

I went on a rampage.

Destroying everything that anyone else held dear. Taking my pain out on others, hoping, I could make them feel the same emptiness that I felt everyday. But they never did, some how, they always managed to bounce back. To find love, peace, and hope, while I was alone. I can remember how many nights, I cried myself to sleep. Whether from frustration, defeat, or loneliness, I cannot not say, but it only made me more determined.

I went above and beyond to make them feel my wrath. To make them fear me, fear what I could do. I would have my revenge, and they would suffer. All of them. My determination, is what brought me, them, us, here.

For a time I relished in their sadness. Watching all of them walking around, not knowing who they are, missing something but never knowing what. Watching men and woman, once mighty, wither under my gaze.

And it felt good.

For a time.

Soon, the days started to meld together. Their pain, their suffering, became less and less satisfying. The emptiness I thought I had left behind, had finally found me. Finally after years of being here, in this town, I cried. I cried for the loss of my love, for the loss of my family, and for the loss of my revenge. It had seemed that no matter what I did, or how hard I had tried, I seemed to end up in the same place.

Alone.

It was with this empty feeling, that I refused to leave the house for days. The town didn't need me, they could go on, living their drone lives without me. I am not sure how many days I had been home, when the knock came. I wasn't expecting visitors. I certainly was not expecting this visitor. Mr Gold, is what we called him here. He spoke of concern for my wellbeing, explaining how he was a friend, and if I needed anything, all I need do is ask. I hadn't the energy to scoff at him, and his line about friendship. I had no friends and if he knew who he was, he would not be here offering his services. I paid little attention whilst he made mundane small talk about my home, the quality, and the size, and how I should consider finding a little one to share it with.

Wait, what?

That got my attention.

A little one.

A child.

Someone who would love me, unconditionally. Someone who would need me, want me even. Someone who would not leave. I practically sent Gold out, right then and there to procure one. The next couple months were a flurry of activity. Preparation. I was sitting in my study when the knock came. Though this one I had been expecting, waiting for. I opened the door, and my eyes zeroed in on him instantly. Again, Gold was speaking and I heard nothing. He placed the infant in my arms, placed some paperwork on the table and he left.

I was alone, and yet I was not.

Here was this tiny person, looking up at me, gazing at me with such scrutiny. I must have stood in that doorway for hours, just starring at him, watching him falling asleep, and then watching as he again and started to cry. It was with his wails that I was broken from my reverie.

He needed me.

Everything in my life had changed. Nothing else mattered, but this little tiny human that needed me. I made it my life goal , then and there, to give him what he needed. To love him, and care for him, challenge him, help him to grow, to be a good man, to be the kind of man Daniel would have been proud to call a son. I would raise this baby in his image. Strong and kind, my son, Henry.

Henry.

The drones in the town, they no longer mattered, I could care less about their suffering anymore. I had found my purpose.

One year.

That's how long I had lived within the confines of love.

One Minute.

That's how long it took me to fall completely, and irrevocable in love with Henry, my son.

_I've got a tight grip on reality, but I can't  
Let go of what's in front of me here  
I know you're leaving in the morning, when you wake up  
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream_

You are the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing  
Oh, and I'm on my way to believing

Many times in my life, I have thought I had everything figured out; only to have everything change, and my expectations ripped out from underneath me. It's why I try so hard to control everything, because that feeling of not knowing what's next, it's terrifying. All your plans, all your hard work. Gone. Just because fate decided. And who the fuck was fate to decide my life? I pushed, and I pushed against it, and she kept pushing me back. So fate, is the reason that I am right here, because if I had my choice, well things would be a lot different.

I wanted so badly to hate you. Push you away. I "knew" that you were here to steal my happiness, just when I had found it, just when I gotten used to it. You had come here to ruin everything. I wanted rid of you so bad. No matter how hard you tried to be civil, and work with me, I pushed back. Throwing as many menacing looks, and offensive degrading comments at you as I could. But you seemed to never give up. Until you said you were leaving.

I had won.

I could have my happiness after all. My determination, and sheer will had beat fate.

I should have known, that would not be true. Because like the bitch that fate is, she came back at me twice as hard, and instead of just keeping you around, she had you break my curse. I had nothing left. I had given everything, and fate, as cruel as she is, had taken everything else.

I was defeated.

But then you were there, defending me. Protecting me. Urging me to be with Henry. Urging your parents, and their people to move on. To forget their anger towards me. Confusion, is not enough of a word to describe my feelings.

You hated me. Didn't you?

I didn't know how to ask you, why. And yet you seemed to understand, showing up at my home with some Jack Daniels and an explanation.

We have a child you said, together, you said.

He needs both of his moms. We are in this together. Anyone that could raise a child like Henry, could not be evil. And even if they once were, there was no way that they could still be. I think I smiled a genuine smile, for the first time at someone that wasn't Henry, in far too long to remember.

After that, things moved so fast.

We were friends.

You didn't care about the looks you got, or the comments made.

You moved in.

Your parents needed their space, it was getting to be too much to put up with their "reuniting". And then somewhere along the line, we became a family. Shared dinners, and chores. Picking up dry cleaning, and bringing each other lunch. Helping with homework, and tucking our son in.

Our son.

I liked that sound of that. Maybe too much. I was so scared. My hands were shaking, and my palms were sweaty. I had not felt this way in a long time. I wasn't even sure I could still feel this way. Or if I would be able to do things right.

So I asked. Can I kiss you?

But you didn't seem startled, or angry, you seemed almost expectant. Then you sighed, and nodded, with the slightest of smiles.

Some people say that their first kiss with their true loves is explosive, and I think they may be right.

It was everything it was supposed to be. Your lips against mine, your taste on my tongue. Your warmth, pressing up against me. Your arms pulling me closer, your fingers in my hair begging me not stop.

And I didn't.

Which bring us to where we are now. You in my bed, your head on my breast, your blonde hair spread out on my chest and shoulder. Your arm is slung over my stomach, and your hand, on my hip holding me close. I don't know what to do Emma, I am so scared. Will you wake up and realize that it was a mistake? Will you leave? Will you take Henry? Will this be fates final trick on me? Once again, giving me everything I have wanted, and then savagely ripping it away. Letting the emptiness finally consume me completely until I am nothing.

Tears start to flow from my eyes.

The sadness, of your inevitable departure, already encroaching on me. I quickly reach up to swipe the tears away, if you're going to leave, the least I can do is try to maintain some of my dignity. My sudden movement wakes you. I see your eyelids flutter, before opening to reveal your beautiful green eyes.

I hold my breath and wait for it.

I Loosen my grip on your waist, allowing it so that you may make a quick getaway. I watch you blink a few times, trying to figure out where you are. Then you look at me. I see no hesitancy, no shock. I wait. And then I see it. The shyness, the slight curve of your lips. Without breaking my gaze you whisper,

"Hi".

And thats it.

In that one word, soft and shy, your eyes filled with reverence and wonder, your touch soft on my skin, that I am found. When you snuggle back in and sigh with contentment, I finally understand. I was supposed to be here. All along I had been making my way here. I had been pushing against fate, and she was bringing me where I needed to be. Where I was meant to be all along.

With my family.

Many times I thought I had everything figured out, that I knew everything, only to have my expectations ripped out from under me. And for the first time, I am so very glad that they were.


End file.
